Omegle Chats

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: yo
Stranger: dude here
You: w4nn4 5p34k l1k3 th1s?
Stranger: no
You: pl3453?
You: 1m r34lly b0r3d
Stranger: 0k
You: w4zzu9 13r0
Stranger: 1 can7 r3ally d0 it th0ugh
You: l0l i ju57 d15c0v3r3d it.
You: damn that it should been = 17
Stranger: 15 th1s 4ll3vi4ting y0ur b0r3dom?
You: w0w 7\-\4t w45 pr377y g00d
Stranger: why, th4nk y0u
You: y0ur w31120m3
Stranger: y0u 4r3 a g00d t3ach3r
You: 47 t\-\1s m0m3nt 1m l34rn1n6 fr0m y0u
Stranger: n0, 1 63l13ve th4t 15 n0t th3 c4s3
You: 7\-\1s w1ll 60 0n http://www.omeglechats.com/ as “n34rds 4t 4alk”
You: 4r3 u 5ur3?
Stranger: 4w350m3! 1 l0v3 631ng 4 n3rd
You: l0l m33 700
Stranger: 1f 0nly y0u w3r3 4 g1rl
You: if 0n1y y0u w3r3 4 61rl…
You: 1 f33l l1k3 su3h 4 l0053r 741kin6 l1k3 7h15…
Stranger: its ok.. i think like that too.
You: …lol
Stranger: it’s hard to find intelligent woman.
You: that was funny
You: or bored chicks
Stranger: so when i talk to a nerd, i secretly hope it’s a she
You: lol
You: i dont…. im not that nerdy…
Stranger: bored chicks are easy to come by. go to any bar in the western world
You: lol yea
Stranger: but thanks anyway. maybe i’ll try that next
You: i was really crap at l33t before i talked 2 u … thanx for the pr427ic3
Stranger: you’re still crap. good luck!
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: put that on the omegle website :)
You: lol ok
You: peace
Stranger: peace out!
Stranger: it’s been fun!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Lets cut right to it are you:

A) Male (not-horny) looking to talk to a female

B) Male (not-horny) looking to talk to a male

C) Female (not-horny) looking to talk to a male

D) Female (not-horny) looking to talk to a female

E) Male (horny) looking to talk to a female

F) Male (horny) looking to talk to a male

G) Female (horny) looking to talk to a male

H) Female (horny) looking to talk to a female
You: I) Tansvestite paraplegic looking for some legs
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT DISCONNECT!
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: i like you already
Stranger: but bro why are you taking so long to type
You: THERE IS A GUY WITH A BOMB RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND HE WILL BLOW US BOTH UP IF YOU DISCONNECT!
Stranger: do you like the office
You: not really
Stranger: ugh bye
You: NO!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey it’s Vince here with ShamWOW!
Stranger: HAHAHA
Stranger: I call it the JESUS CLOTH
You: This is for the house, the car, the boat, the c0ck
Stranger: LOLLLLL
You: You can use it as a bath mat, cut in in half and dry your sweaters, or cut a hole and ******* the shammy
You: SHAMWOW HOLDS UP TO 20 TIMES ITS WEIGHT IN LIQUID
Stranger: Omggggggggggggggggg
You: Let’s have a look at this in real time
Stranger: hahahahahhahahahaahahahaha
You: see, without even putting any pressure
You: 0.00001% of the water has been absorbed
You: see look at that
You: See what I’m telling you?
Stranger: All I can say is WOW
Stranger: ShamWOW, that is
You: Let’s see what our customers think
You:
OOOO MY GAAAWD
You:

“If you’re gonna wash your c0ck, you’d be out of your mind not to own one of these”
Stranger: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You: See what I’m telling you?
You: Shamwow sells for 19.95
You: but if you cum now, within the next 20 minutes
Stranger: hahahahahaha!
You: we’ll give you a MINI shamwow absolutely free!
Stranger: wtf!!!!
You: Mini shamwows are for everything, for daily use
You: you get one for the house, one for the c0ck, 2 for the b*** and a****
Stranger: rofl rofl rofl!!!!!!!!!!!
You: you can use it on rough surfaces, you can even use it on children
Stranger: OMFG LMFAO
Stranger: *applaus applaus*
You: And if you are one of the first 15 callers, we’ll head over and give you a demo
You: What you are about to hear is a radio demonstration of the Mini ShamWOW
Stranger: Lol, did you come up with this?!?!?!?!
You:

“this is a Mini Shamwow, listen to this”
You: “look, it fits right in there”
You: “and look, wait ..”
Stranger: omg!
You: “OHHH YEAH BABE”
You: “wait, um, this is live?”
You:

So what are you waiting for? Order Now!
Stranger: AHHHHHHHHHHHH *dies* (of laughter)
You: And receive a MINI SHAMWOW free!
You:

=====
Stranger: I swear, you rock
You:

HEY ITS VINCE WITH THE VIBRATING BROOM
Stranger: AHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA
You: it’s for everyday household use,
You: tired of getting into those tight spaces under furniture?
You: with a regular broom, it’s difficult
Stranger: omg I can’t….. this is too weird
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i wanna get fucking in the ass
You: right on.
Stranger: yah
You: with… a penis?
Stranger: yah
You: k
You: you a dude?
Stranger: nope
You: nice.
Stranger: female
You: that means you’re probably a chick.
You: that’s hot and stuff. the desire for a penis in the ass, i mean.
You: hawwwwt.
Stranger: well thank you
Stranger: most ppl think its a turn off
You: yah? that’s odd.
Stranger: age?
You: wait. prove you’re a chick.
Stranger: i have a clit
You: tell me what that thing is called that you put a comforter in.
You: clit does not a chick make.
You: i mean… most of the time.
You: but not always.
Stranger: i dont know how to spell it
Stranger: its called a devey
You: right on.
You: you have passed the chick test.
You: congrats, you’re the only chick on the internet.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hey whats your name?
Stranger: alp er tunga
You: My name’s Pitt, and you ain’t talkin’ your ass outta this shit.
Stranger: wtf
You: Oh, I’m sorry. Did that break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue. I believe
you were saying something about”best intentions.”
You: Whatsamatter? Oh, you were through anyway. Well, let me retort. Would you describe for me what Marsellus Wallace looks like?
Stranger: what did talking about you
You: What aint no country I ever heard of
You: They speak english in what?
Stranger: ecdadını sikeyim o zaman
You: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?!
Stranger: fuck ur english and all american
You: SAY WHAT AGAIN SAY WHAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
You: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Stranger: write bitch
You: then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch?
You: yes you did! Yes you did, brett
You: There’s a passage I got memorized,
seems appropriate for this
situation: Ezekiel 25:17. “The path
of the righteous man is beset on
all sides by the inequities of the
selfish and the tyranny of evil
men. Blessed is he who, in the
name of charity and good will,
shepherds the weak through the
valley of darkness, for he is truly
his brother’s keeper and the finder
of lost children. And I will
strike down upon thee with great
vengeance and furious anger those
who attempt to poison and destroy
my brothers. And you will know my
name is the Lord when I lay my
vengeance upon you!”

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey$
You: Hi(money sign)
Stranger: My finger slipped on that key
Stranger: Where are you from ?
You: Ohh haha
You: Jamaica
Stranger: Nice, I’ve been in a place not far from Jamaica lately
Stranger: I’ve been in guadeloupe
You: Oh very cool
Stranger: I’ve met a Jamaican guy. We’ve drunk rum while listening to the Jah (:
You: Aha did you blaze it up also?
Stranger: Nope
You: Ah man
Stranger: Yeah… So, how’s life in Jamaica, buddy ?
You: Yeah it’s good except when the dinosaurs fly out of the volcanos and attack my village.
Stranger: The dinosaurs? Hm.
You: Yes they have jet-packs and shoot lazers out of their eyes.
Stranger: Awkward.
You: Nahh man they’re not homosexual.
You: It’s scientifically proven.
Stranger: You sure bout that?
Stranger: I mean, they disappeared long years ago, so maybe VIH took part in the party.
You: Thats was only during WWI
Stranger: What happened then ?
You: The Russian soldiers rode the dinosaurs into war. They later discovered the dinosaurs where the ones what spread HIV across the globe.
Stranger: That’s so sad.
You: Yeah I know, but everything happens for a reason.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: hii
Stranger: whats up?
You: im eating lucky charms. how about you?
Stranger: just bored
You: ohh you must be eating cheerios huh?
Stranger: ya they r really boring
Stranger: there is a bear in them thoe
You: yupp. a bear??? ohh my goodness
Stranger: ya its scary but i foght him off wit the spoon
You: ohh phew. i thought bears where only attracted to honeynut cheerios?
Stranger: well idk what happened i tought he was lost
You: probalbly i once found a dragon in my cinnamon toast crunch

You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: asl
Stranger: naughty
You: yes i am
Stranger: m or f
You: under these particular circumstances
You: f
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: age?
You: you first
Stranger: 22
You: naws
You: im 14
Stranger: m
Stranger: dangerous
You: yes i am
You: very
Stranger: pumped now
You: especially if ive got a gun, coz i dont know how to use it
You: that would be kind of fun
You: a good learning curbe
You: hmm
Stranger: curve?
Stranger: very horny arent we
You: no
You: curbe. i know its the wrong type of anything to use here.
You: as in, to curbe my hunger, i ate 32 donuts
You: which isnt true
You: i think id explode
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Asl? Analysis Sine Legacy?
Stranger: no age sex live
You: Why would you want to know that
Stranger: idk
You: Well then, a bit silly opening a conversation with such a demanding request, right?
Stranger: i guess so…So how are you?? is that better
Stranger: ??
You: Well it’s a bit late now. You’ve spoiled the atmosphere of the conversation by this confrontation. I think you should review how you open your chats!
You have disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Something smells like up dog.
Stranger: whats up dog?
You: Not much.
You have disconnected.

You: Did you know someone switches to a tempurpedic matress every sixty seconds?
Stranger: i did not! please enlighten me!
You: Well, with this tempurpedic matress, you can sleep with ease!
You: No more waking up your partner when getting up to go to the bathroom!
Stranger: i was curious though… i’ll only buy a mattress where i can set a glass of wine on it, and then jump on the bed and it miraculously won’t spill. i don’t think you have a mattress like that for me! :-\
You: I have just that!
Stranger: :-O!!!
You: I’ll even throw in a free snuggie!
Stranger: WHAT A DEAL!
You: Now, you don’t have to fumble with your hands anymore
You: And if you want to tone those arms, I’ll get you a free shake weight!
Stranger: i’ll bet i can’t change the channel on the tv with the remote, though!
Stranger: oh, WOW!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: Hi
You: tell me something about yourself
Stranger: Im 17 and I surf
You: i know that already
Stranger: No you dont
You: yes i do
Stranger: You dont know me
You: yes i do
Stranger: Whats my name then?
You: does that matter
Stranger: Yes
You: im not gonna tell you cuz then you are just gonna change your name so that i am wrong
Stranger: Im not. Promise.
Stranger: Besdies, if you knew me you would know I never lie
You: unless you are lying right now…. in which case we find ourselves in an interesting paradox
Stranger: You said you knew me. I asked what my name is so Im going to give you a hint. It starts with J
You: i know from the past sentence that i made up about you that you are lying
You: so im gonna say your name doesnt start with j
Stranger: You idiot. My names Jasmine.
You: i know that already
Stranger: Then explain this; so im gonna say your name doesnt start with j
Stranger: Suck that asshole
You: thats correct
You: my name does or does not start with j, depending on whether you are lying or not
You: liar
Stranger: Fuck you. You dont know me.
Stranger: Im going to be a good little girl and disconnect you :D
You: are you lying
Stranger: No Im not
You: i think you are
Stranger: IM NOT LYING!
You: you didnt make eye contact, so you must be lying
Stranger: How the hell am I supposed to make eye contact with you when I cant even see you because Im looking at a computer screen where some asshole is typing saying that he/she knows me.
You: i know so much about you because i am watching you
You: i expect you to make eye contact with me
Stranger: Haha, so funny.
You: i dont think you are lying now…
Stranger: THANKYOU!
You: that wa a lie. you arent being truly sincere
Stranger: OKay, your a fucking asshole who has no idea what you are talking about
Stranger: IM A STRANGER!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: If I were a toaster would you still love me?
Stranger: yes.
You: finally! a true companion
Stranger: are we talking about the genocide of humanity or toast kind?
Stranger: (I’d love you still, either way)
You: if I were a machine that made toast
Stranger: Ah ok.
Stranger: Well, toast is a good force in the universe, whats not to love?
You: my crumbs they are contagious when you put other food in my slots you may get my ttds (toasterly transmitted diseases)
Stranger: What are the symptoms?
You: hold on I will make you a list
You: nausea, heartburn, indigestion….upset stomach, diarrea!
Stranger: So basically, if I take pepto bismol I’ll be fine?
You: basically but you could die a little
Stranger: So long as its only a little.
You: yes so you will still put your items in my infested toaster slots AND love me?
Stranger: Maybe, I think I would hate you a little everytime I died a little, but only a little.
Stranger: kind of like how I feel about this conversation

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: WHAT…..is the capital of Latvia?
Stranger: Riga
You: wrong!
You: its Riga
Stranger: oh sorry.. clearly i’m wrong.
You: clearly
You: thanks for playing!
You have disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I am Jesus, Lord of Earth! I will answer any three questions you have!
You: whats my name?
Stranger: Bob
Stranger: Next question
You: how old am i?
Stranger: Eleventy-four
Stranger: Final question
You: Absolute zero is the temperature when sub-atomic particles stop moving. This temperature is reached at zero degrees Kelvin. What temperature in degrees celcius is equivalent to zero Kelvin?
Stranger: 3
You: wrong
Stranger: Thanks for playing
You: youre not jesus
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: what is your deepest, darkest secret
You: i killed 6 million jews in 1945.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hi im Kate from canada and im 19 f :)
Stranger: how are you ? :)
You: 18 m usa
You: spam?
Stranger: do you want to see a pic of me?
You: FUUUCKKK
You: NO
Stranger: okay 2 sec then i am just going to upload some.
You: SHUT THE FUCK UP
You: no i will not download them when you tell me the link
Stranger: http://www.*******.com/?dtmjeommu1v
Stranger: sorry you have to download them
You: what a fucking suprise
Stranger: what do you think?
You: i love viruses and all but shut the fuck up and leave me alone
You: thank you

You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: where are you from
You: right now, i’m in your backyard
You: watching you type on your laptop.
You: you really should stop asking girls for their pics. it’s rude.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey there
Stranger:Hello
You: What are you doing?
Stranger: Listening to music
You: Ahhh that’s nice. I don’t have ears so I wouldn’t know about that.
You: Really sad, actually.
You: It’s called Van Gogh Syndrome
You: Have you ever heard about it?
You: I haven’t
You: CAUSE I DON’T HAVE EARS!