You: Did you know someone switches to a tempurpedic matress every sixty seconds?
Stranger: i did not! please enlighten me!
You: Well, with this tempurpedic matress, you can sleep with ease!
You: No more waking up your partner when getting up to go to the bathroom!
Stranger: i was curious though… i’ll only buy a mattress where i can set a glass of wine on it, and then jump on the bed and it miraculously won’t spill. i don’t think you have a mattress like that for me! :-\
You: I have just that!
Stranger: :-O!!!
You: I’ll even throw in a free snuggie!
Stranger: WHAT A DEAL!
You: Now, you don’t have to fumble with your hands anymore
You: And if you want to tone those arms, I’ll get you a free shake weight!
Stranger: i’ll bet i can’t change the channel on the tv with the remote, though!
Stranger: oh, WOW!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.